For several months, husband and I have been giving respite assistance to family members. If you’ve ever been faced with the slow deterioration of a family member, you know this bears heavy on your heart.
In the midst of this time, we seem to have moved apart. Probably to deal with our individual emotional responses. Maybe because sometimes we don’t know what to say to each other.
Today I decided it was time to turn that sadness back into love. The first thing I did was declare today “love each other day.” This was primarily for me, the one that sometimes can say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Then we we headed into Trader Joe’s and I reached over and took Bob’s hand. A gentleman walking out of the store looked at us and smiled. I hope he wasn’t thinking we were too old to be holding hands!
It felt good. Felt young again. Reminiscent of those first days of knowing you’d found your soul mate.
And then silently in my heart, I prayed to God that he would give me the strength and courage to support my husband. Losing his brother, as if someone is erasing away the core of that brother and leaving only a shell. Must be hard. I asked God to help me control my tongue and not to talk too much about all the wrong things.
This man I love is hurting and I want to help him see that we can reignite that sadness into love. By thinking on the goodness his brother shared with others, all the children who loved him as their teacher and principal, the music he shared, the poetry he loved, the piece of him he gave to each of us.
Turning sadness into love. Look at the sadness that must have gathered around the cross. Then think on the love for us that was exhibited in the midst of that same sadness. We can follow that example — and we can get past this difficult time. But we must love each other first.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in love.