It’s Friday — time to write with absolute abandon.
Why? Because it’s Five Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo’s and
that’s what hundreds of us do on Friday.
So time to start the ticker and write for
a full five minutes full-out without editing or correcting
on just one word —
I remember the hatred I felt. The fermenting distaste I held within. Disappointment on top of disappointment.
Months of fighting back and forth. Who would get this? Who would have custody of our son?
Worse was the shame and anger for what he had done to us, our marriage, our partnered parenting.
I HATED HIM! Yes, hate is what I felt. I had wished him dead before, but now stronger than ever I prayed him out of our lives forever.
But the judge granted him six hours of visitation with our son every other weekend. In the daylight hours. Yes, he was a man even the judge did not trust.
I HATED HIM as our son grew older and came home with evidence of abuses. I was angry there was nothing I could do. We went through counselling. The psychologist said our son’s anxieties were because of him. What can I do when my son says, “I don’t want to go?” According to the courts, not much.
I HATED HIM! His selfishness, his abuses, his jealousies sent me back to work and I raised my son basically alone. I hated him for this. We were his family.
AND THEN … nine years later he came along. A man of God, a man with patience and love, warmth and caring, and he loved my son like a father should. We married and began building our home together, including my husband’s children on weekends.
STILL I HATED HIM for having put us through nearly a decade of hurts, pain, anguish, fear, distrust … my husband said, “You must forgive.”
“How?” I asked.
“God will show you.”
I prayed for weeks and months.
ONE DAY, with courage only He can give, something happened. My ex-husband called and before I handed the phone to our, son I told him I needed to say something.
“I forgive you.”
“For hurting us, but that’s all history. Just know I forgive you. I needed to say this. That’s all.” And I handed the phone to our son.
RELEASE felt heavenly. Lighter, so light I could have lifted off the ground. I stood in the aura of His presence. I felt His hand on my shoulder, and I heard Him whisper, “Well done, my child.”
(Image added after five minutes were up)
Lots of folks come together to do this every Friday.
Want to read what some of them have written today?
Click on the image below and enjoy!