Release | Five Minute Friday

It’s Friday — time to write with absolute abandon.
Why? Because it’s Five Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo’s and
that’s what hundreds of us do on Friday.

So time to start the ticker and write for
a full five minutes full-out without editing or correcting
on just one word —
RELEASE

BEGIN.

I remember the hatred I felt. The fermenting distaste I held within. Disappointment on top of disappointment.

Months of fighting back and forth. Who would get this? Who would have custody of our son?

Worse was the shame and anger for what he had done to us, our marriage, our partnered parenting.

I HATED HIM! Yes, hate is what I felt. I had wished him dead before, but now stronger than ever I prayed him out of our lives forever.

But the judge granted him six hours of visitation with our son every other weekend. In the daylight hours. Yes, he was a man even the judge did not trust.

I HATED HIM as our son grew older and came home with evidence of abuses. I was angry there was nothing I could do. We went through counselling. The psychologist said our son’s anxieties were because of him.  What can I do when my son says, “I don’t want to go?” According to the courts, not much.

I HATED HIM! His selfishness, his abuses, his jealousies sent me back to work and I raised my son basically alone. I hated him for this. We were his family.

AND THEN … nine years later he came along. A man of God, a man with patience and love, warmth and caring, and he loved my son like a father should. We married and began building our home together, including my husband’s children on weekends.

STILL I HATED HIM for having put us through nearly a decade of hurts, pain, anguish, fear, distrust … my husband said, “You must forgive.”

“How?” I asked.

“God will show you.”

I prayed for weeks and months.

ONE DAY, with courage only He can give, something happened. My ex-husband called and before I handed the phone to our, son I told him I needed to say something.

“I forgive you.”

“For what?”

“For hurting us, but that’s all history. Just know I forgive you. I needed to say this. That’s all.” And I handed the phone to our son.

RELEASE felt heavenly. Lighter, so light I could have lifted off the ground. I stood in the aura of His presence. I felt His hand on my shoulder, and I heard Him whisper, “Well done, my child.”

(Image added after five minutes were up)

Lots of folks come together to do this every Friday.
Want to read what some of them have written today?
Click on the image below and enjoy!

5 minute friday

 

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13 thoughts on “Release | Five Minute Friday

  1. There is so much freedom found in forgiveness. I’m glad you were finally able to let go and forgive your ex, not for his sake, but so that you can have an unburdened heart. Thank you for sharing such a real and raw part of your story today. You are a blessing to others.

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  2. Sherrey, imagine being the child involved in the abuse. That was me. I had to learn to forgive my abusers so I could move on in life. I shared some in today’s fmf-release.

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  3. Sherrey,
    I am so sorry you and your son had to go through this ….and I am delighted God blessed you with a godly and loving husband later…and that you experienced the lightness of forgiveness..great quote…yes, such truth…((hugs))…thanks for giving courage to others by sharing your story.

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    • Dolly, God delights us so abundantly and in surprising ways. I had given up hope of finding that man who could share with us the kind of love God ordains in His Word. I had chosen to live a life of singleness, and then Bob happened upon the scene. I believe this was another season of letting go and letting God have control of my life. Thanks for your continuing encouragement and especially the ((hugs)).

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  4. This is so powerful, Sherrey! I can feel the hurt and hatred; the feelings you share are familiar, reminding me of the custody situation my husband and his dear children had to endure. Praise God that is behind us and that my husband was strong enough to release the outcome to God’s hands. WIth kiddos, we’re learning, there is a lot of releasing that happens. 😉 I’m so glad you shared your story.

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Kendra! So sorry to hear your husband and his children have had to go through a similar struggle. Sounds like you married a good man and yes, when children are in your life, lots of releasing goes on. Happy weekend!

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    • Yes, forgiveness is a gift to ourselves. It took me a long time to understand that, but when I did and when I was able to forgive, it was an awesome feeling! Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts.

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  5. Sherrey, What a reminder to me to offer forgiveness to those around me like the forgiveness Christ has given me. Thank you so much for sharing this truthful and raw writing.

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